No words could describe how sorry I was. And I still am. I'm trying to rearrange all the words in my mind to let it out and express everything that I held inside. But I keep backspace it over and over again. Just like I did just now.
First of all, I'm sorry if I keep making a mess every time. You always treated me so well. No one has ever treated me that way. I mean, the way you care about me, it's just really different. All those text messages are truly one of a kind. I'm sorry that sometimes I would ignore you especially when I'm having one of those mood-swings of mine. Honestly, I don't actually mean to do that. It's just that I kinda prefer being alone with myself when I'm being moody. I'm sorry if I being so rude to you the other day, saying harsh and loud words to you. I admit that I can be a jerk sometime. I don't even know what happens to me lately. Thinking too much, I guess. You always there for me even if you have your own things to do. You gave me support that I need. When I get sick, you're so worry until you get sad. And you gave me all the attention that every girl needed, even if I don't ask for it. You will know for sure how was my mood from the sound of my voice even though I tried so hard to cover it up.
You accept the flaws that I have in me. No matter how I tell you that I'm not one of those pretty,drop-dead gorgeous, perfect kind of girl, you don't even care because you know how beautiful I am deep inside of me. That was the most lovely things that I've ever heard. You don't mind how crazy my attitude can be and you still can make silly jokes about that. It made me laugh. You make me feel good about myself. Sometimes I wonder if I even deserved being treated this way. It's just too good too be true. And plus, you're being such patient to wait for me all the time, even when I said don't.
The fact is everything about you is wonderful. I just really think so and I know you will deny that but that's the truth. Don't blame me. :) I'm so sorry if I've hurt your feelings many times without me realizing about it. All you ever answer me was that you're okay and I shouldn't even apologizing for that. When I know that deep inside that heart of yours, you're hurting so bad but you pretend like it didn't hurt at all. Hurting you is the least thing I wanna do. Actually, I don't want that at all. But people make mistakes and it seems like we keep doing it over and over again. And I will never stop apologizing.
You understand me most of the time even though I don't really understand myself sometimes. I really appreciate that.
Forgiveness is more than saying sorry. And I just hope you could forgive for everything that I had done wrong. I'm out of words right now.
Thank you and thank you so much. You're my buddy! And I adore you very much.
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